In the style of Amanda, I have decided to write about something I witnessed the other day and found amusing. Anyone who follows me on Twitter may already know the story as I was live-tweeting as it occured.
I was on my way back from a gig in London on Thursday and I got on the train at Waterloo. I managed to get one of those single seats next to the toilet and decided to try and have a bit of a snooze on the way home as it was a schoolnight and I had to be at work at 9am the next day.
Sat opposite me was pretty much your stereotypical businessman, wearing suit and tie and holding an umbrella even though it had not been raining at all that day. I would like to think he had a bowler hat on as well, but that is a detail that I have probably embellished for my own amusement.
The toilet door was locked and it was obvious that the businessman needed to use the facilities. He tapped on the door with his umbrella a couple of times, getting no response he used his umbrella to push the open button but the door remained closed.
I don’t know if you’re familiar with the new toilets on South Eastern trains, but essentially there’s two buttons on the outside which will be lit up if the toilet is vacant and able to be used. These buttons will open the door and then once inside, there are buttons to close and lock the door.
So the businessman obviously waited patiently for a little while to see if someone emerged from the toilet. When they didn’t, he tried knocking on the door with the umbrella and pushing the button again. Again nothing. He tried this repeatedly for the next half an hour until we got to Tunbridge. I’m not sure what he was expecting to happen after getting no response the first few times, but the other 84 times he tried it annoyed me as almost every one awoke me from that nap I was trying to have.
By this time I was imagining that a golgothan would emerge in due course.
At Tunbridge, the man waited impatiently for the doors to open before running one way down the platform and then the other, clearly attempting to find a toilet.
Just as the man gets off, a woman walks onto the train, pushes the other button on the door and walks straight into the toilet.