Duckman: The Origins

I’m going to let you into a secret. I’m a superhero.

I know, it’s difficult to take in. Let me just remove my glasses. It will seem much more plausible then.

It all started when I was on “tour” with my band. We were staying at The Billing Aquadrome. The place is as wonderful as it sounds. I think the magic of the place might have been what caused me to turn into a superhero. It might be my radioactive spider.

Every superhero needs an origin story, and this is mine. It is not as heartbreaking as seeing my parents murdered. It’s not as scientific as a spider bite. I’m not a multimillionaire. I haven’t been able to make my own technology. I’m not a mutant (as far as I can tell).

Not an actual picture of me as Duckman. I like to keep my identity secret.

All I have is my wits and a power to control the actions of ducks. Allow me to set the scene.

We were playing Olympic Frisbee. I say playing, we were training really. We never made it to Olympic standard. The reasons for this will become obvious shortly.

It was early in the morning. We’d just had a bit of breakfast and were in the process of waking up before we worked out our plan for the day. One of us – I can’t remember who but it wasn’t me as I’m awesome – failed to catch the Frisbee and it went into a nearby lake.

Everyone was distraught. They thought our game was over and the disc lost forever. Whilst they were busy crying and lamenting, I was not to be stopped.

“LEWIS! GET ME THE BREAD!” I commanded.

Lewis, being inferior to me in every way (although he never says it, I know he thinks of me as his hero), followed my every command. He hurried over to where our food supply was and brought me back a loaf of bread.

Using this as my conduit, I summoned the ducks nearby towards the Frisbee. Throwing bits of bread just in front of them where I wanted them to go I controlled them using nothing but the power of my mind to nudge the Frisbee back to us.

Everyone around bowed down at my feet, for they had never seen such a feat before. Women wanted to be with me. Men wanted to be me. The game of Olympic Frisbee continued.

This is how I became Duckman – controller of ducks using only the power of his mind! (And occasionally bread).

Duckman is looking for partners for a kick ass superhero team. Apply within.

Even Rocky had a montage…

There has been a thing going around on that there internet that they invented. It is to do with the fact that in the United States around 22 veterans of various ages commit suicide every day.
To raise awareness of this issue, a challenge has been going around to attempt to do 22 press ups a day for 22 days. The idea is that you video yourself doing it and tag a friend each day to get them to do the same. 
My “friend” Steve Ashley tagged me in one of his videos, which I thought was a bit mean of him. I’m a man who likes a challenge though and so I decided to give it a go.
September also happens to be national suicide prevention awareness month. Anything that can reduce the stigma around suicide, whether caused by PTSD or one of many other factors is a good idea in my book. I think that nowadays 
I decided to do the challenge a bit differently to others. I didn’t want to upload a video on Facebook everyday because I am already narcisstic enough on there already as it is and seeing a video every day is bit like overkill. I also didn’t want to annoy 22 other people by nominating them to do the challenge as well. If people want to, then fine. I didn’t want to make anyone feel guilty for not doing it, or pressured into doing it.
I also thought that a montage would be much cooler. 
I also chose to do the challenge as I know that I don’t do enough exercise and in itself it is a good thing. Having the motivation to do so would be a good thing as I’m usually too lazy to force myself to do exercise. It turns out that doing press ups every day makes you better at press ups. Who would have thunk it? You will notice this if you watch the montage video. 
Raising awareness is just one part of the solution and so I decided that I would donate money to the Royal British Legion. I chose to give them £22 as it was an important number in the challenge, plus £1 for every press up that I missed. One day I was so ill that I was only awake for 4 hours and so missed those press ups, and so I have donated £44. 
Below are a montage video plus a video of all the press ups. If it looks like any are missing, then that’s as a result of my poor editing rather than actually missing any.
Here is my montage video:
Or if you want to watch every single press up: