I’m going to let you into a secret. I’m a superhero.
I know, it’s difficult to take in. Let me just remove my glasses. It will seem much more plausible then.
It all started when I was on “tour” with my band. We were staying at The Billing Aquadrome. The place is as wonderful as it sounds. I think the magic of the place might have been what caused me to turn into a superhero. It might be my radioactive spider.
Every superhero needs an origin story, and this is mine. It is not as heartbreaking as seeing my parents murdered. It’s not as scientific as a spider bite. I’m not a multimillionaire. I haven’t been able to make my own technology. I’m not a mutant (as far as I can tell).
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| Not an actual picture of me as Duckman. I like to keep my identity secret. |
All I have is my wits and a power to control the actions of ducks. Allow me to set the scene.
We were playing Olympic Frisbee. I say playing, we were training really. We never made it to Olympic standard. The reasons for this will become obvious shortly.
It was early in the morning. We’d just had a bit of breakfast and were in the process of waking up before we worked out our plan for the day. One of us – I can’t remember who but it wasn’t me as I’m awesome – failed to catch the Frisbee and it went into a nearby lake.
Everyone was distraught. They thought our game was over and the disc lost forever. Whilst they were busy crying and lamenting, I was not to be stopped.
“LEWIS! GET ME THE BREAD!” I commanded.
Lewis, being inferior to me in every way (although he never says it, I know he thinks of me as his hero), followed my every command. He hurried over to where our food supply was and brought me back a loaf of bread.
Using this as my conduit, I summoned the ducks nearby towards the Frisbee. Throwing bits of bread just in front of them where I wanted them to go I controlled them using nothing but the power of my mind to nudge the Frisbee back to us.
Everyone around bowed down at my feet, for they had never seen such a feat before. Women wanted to be with me. Men wanted to be me. The game of Olympic Frisbee continued.
This is how I became Duckman – controller of ducks using only the power of his mind! (And occasionally bread).
Duckman is looking for partners for a kick ass superhero team. Apply within.