We are family

Quite a while ago my sister-in-law told me that I should write more blogs. “Ha!” I thought, “I’ll write one about her! I’m sure she’d love that!”

Had I actually got around to writing this several months ago it might have been more amusing then but nevermind. Anyway, I am going to tell you about the three new additions to my family that have occurred over the last few years.

Let’s start with the day my sister-in-law became my sister-in-law. It was one of the worst days of my life. Not because she was becoming my sister-in-law but because my brother had asked me to be his best man. This was literally the most nerve wracking day of my entire life. I even had Mikey as another best man to help me with everything. What actually happened was that we made each other more and more nervous as the day went on.

We had rehearsed our joint speech a week or so before and we found ourselves hilarious. Come the actual day, having to stand up in front of family and friends and actually do the speech became the most terrifying thing in the world. We were sat next to each other at the table during the meal and barely spoke, unable to drink much wine for fear of the effect it would have on us.

In the end it went well. I guess drawing a graph that turns out to be a penis is a joke that transcends the generations.

My sister-in-law is a wonderful, lovely, generous person who – most importantly – is somehow able to put up with my brother.

Next, to my brother-in-law. He is definitely a spy. No doubt about it. All my sister knows is that he does “something to do with pipes” which means that he has to go out to the middle east a lot. That’s where spies go. I’ve seen James Bond go there. I’ve seen Adam Carter go there. It’s where all of the spies go.

Not that you’d think it to look at him, though. I think that’s probably why he makes such a great spy. No-one suspects him.

My brother and I ushered at their wedding and got extremely confused by the L-shaped room they got married in.  I’d ushered twice before and classed myself as “experienced” but woah – that was a definite challenge to my abilities. We pulled through in the end, despite some hasty rearranging to find a seat for my dad after he had walked my sister down the aisle.

And finally to my favourite member of the family, the only one on the same intellectual level as me – my eighteen month old niece.

I did some research on the internet about how to be a good uncle and the internet told me that you need to
help your niece/nephew push the boundaries that are laid down by their parents. So, when my sister gets annoyed that I’m helping Jess throw her food everywhere, I can just point her in the direction of the internet to back me up.

Jess is wonderful. I know there’s a small possibility of bias but she is definitely 5000% the cutest kid who was ever born. I’ve taught her to high five me as soon as she sees me. That’s cool, right? I could probably go on for ages but instead I will just show you this selfie of me and her which proves that she’s almost as awesome as me.