travel – A Boy Named Stew

Bucket List item completed – 37: Visit Hadrian’s Wall

I’ve never been able to work out exactly why I wanted to go to Hadrian’s Wall. I’ve wanted to since I was very little. My best guess would be that it seemed like such a preposterously long way to a small child that it would feel like going to the end of the world.

As a grown up who realises that it is less than 400 miles away and who has been on flights that have taken him much further than that, that logic no longer holds up.For some reason I did still want to go, hence why it was on my bucket list.

I booked a week off work and decide to plot a list of other places that I wanted to go and see on the way as it’s quite a long way to drive just to go and look at a ruined wall.

Darwin

First up was Down House in North Kent. I’ve intended to go here several times before as I get free entry being an English Heritage member but have never got round to actually going and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. I got greeted at the door by a woman who was exceptionally excited that a “young person” was a member. I was excited that she thought I qualified as a young person.

The house itself gave a reasonable overview of Darwin’s life on the top floor and the lower floor was preserved as it would have been when he used it. The things that stood out to me – aside from the fact that David Attenborough did the audio guide which was exceptionally cool – were how normal a person Darwin seemed to have been.

He was not an outstanding student, getting decidedly average grades and he seemed to have a great sense of fun, often playing backgammon or billiards with his butler to help him forget about his work.

He also had a kick-ass beard, unlike I was told when I did a sketch of him in school which I was marked down for. As you can tell, I’m still a bit annoyed about that.

Dahl

Next up was a stop in Great Missenden to the see the Roald Dahl Museum and Story Centre. Dahl is a bit of a hero of mine as I wrote last September. Since then, I have read through all of his books that I previously hadn’t read and this was one of the things I was most excited about on my trip.

When I turned up, it was obvious that the museum was aimed at children and I was a bit worried that there would be a repeat of the Great Radnor Park Fair incident (see footnote 1).

Fortunately this didn’t happen and the people on the desk were exceptionally nice and just explained to me the route around the museum.

Some of the information in the museum was a bit repetitive, telling us about a few events from Dahl’s life on more than one occasion. Quite a lot of it was taken straight from Boy, so I had already read a lot of it before. This still didn’t hamper my enjoyment of the whole place which, whilst set up for children, was still very magical.

The coolest bit was that they had moved the hut that Dahl did almost all of his writing in from his old house into a museum and preserved it in exactly the state he left it in. It was great to see the seemingly random environment in which he worked. On closer inspection, everything seemed to be set up to be exactly where it needed to be to allow him to write without having to leave his chair.

I found it interesting that both Dahl and Darwin preferred not to write at a desk but at an armchair with a board across their lap. Dahl was also not an exceptional student and it seemed weird that these two geniuses in different fields had similarities in their background. Or maybe I was just reading too much into a couple of coincidences.

They have a height chart on the wall of one of the rooms which allows you to compare yourself in height to many of his characters. This is a simple but brilliantly enjoyable idea. I discovered that I’m the same height as the Vicar of Nibbleswicke which is a little bit shorter than Mrs Twit but slightly taller than Willy Wonka.

After leaving the museum I wandered around the town looking at items that were seemingly inspiration for characters, events or locations in his work. These weren’t overly exciting, although heading out to his grave in the local churchyard was pretty cool. No-one else was there and I always like seeing cool things when no-one else is around. There are two BFG’s footprints leading to the grave which is just such an admirably cute thing to do that it made me want to visit more famous people’s graves.

I then attempted to make my way from there to the nearby motel I was staying at in an attempt to get there in time for the FA Cup Final. I managed to get very lost. There were two main reasons for this. The first is that I had been over-reliant on the sat nav on my phone to get this far and the battery was dying. The second is that I decided then to write down directions so I would be able to find the place even with my phone off. However, I got directions to the wrong place.

This is basically an indication of how good my sense of direction is. Fortunately I managed to use the last drips of my phone battery to get the correct location, directions there and somehow stumble upon it before my phone completely conked it.

I then sat watching the FA Cup final, drinking Monster and eating crisps in a room smaller than most student halls just because it was ridiculously cheap. I know how to live the high life.

From this point onwards, I made sure to write down all the directions the night before and also attempt to memorise the route. This is a life lesson I hope I never forget.

Sherwood Forest

The following morning I got up expecting to have a nice fry up at the motel only to discover that they didn’t start serving until 10am on a Sunday. I couldn’t be bothered to sit around for 2 or so hours to wait so made a move towards my destination for the day and grabbed some over-priced service station food on the way.

I had put the day aside to visit Sherwood Forest. I expected to be able to do archery, fight Little John on a bridge and attempt to win the hand of Maid Marian.

My visit got off to a good start, with a robin greeting me on arrival. I took this as a sign and followed him until he disappeared into a random bush. At that point, I thought it would be a bit weird.

I then saw a sign for a combat performance by the Oakland Outlaws happening in quarter of an hour by the Great Oak which happened to be quarter of an hour away by foot. Now, if you find out that a combat re-enactment is happening in 15 minutes time 15 minutes away from you and you don’t decide instantly to go then you’re probably not human. Or a pacifist. Possibly even a non-human pacifist.

The performance started with the Sheriff of Nottingham asking if anyone wanted to attempt to win a captured Maid Marian’s hand in marriage. Perfect, I thought! The perfect opportunity!

There was a lot of children watching the performance and I didn’t want to spoil it for them so I let Robin Hood be the one to speak up. He knew that I couldn’t have beaten him for he hand, though. I could tell by the way the rest of his performance was poor.

In fact, the whole thing was disappointingly poor. The acting was poor, they followed an illogical and seemingly random plot line with Marian fighting Will Scarlet for some unknown reason. I was quite disappointed really.

Later on, I saw a masked figure marching through the woodland towards me. Had I not seen the character in the performance already, I would have properly pooped my pants there and then.

Overall, the forest wasn’t terribly exciting but it was free and quite pretty in places.

The hotel for the evening was in Leeds. I asked them at the desk if they were serving dinner and got a positive response which excited me. I then got confused by meal system and constantly thought I was going to get told off. I managed to get tangled up in a touring party and was sitting in the wrong place and wasn’t sure what I was allowed to have. In the end I ate too much as I was given the choice of three courses or no courses

Jorvik Viking Centre and other attractions

The following day was spent entirely in York. I had been told by many people that it was a lovely city and it had another thing I had wanted to see since I was in school, the Jorvik Viking Centre.

When I studied Vikings in primary school, I thought they were amazing. Big bearded men with cool hats doing whatever they liked. As I grew older, I started to disapprove of the raping and pillaging part of their culture, but I was still fascinated by their beards and hats. Which is possibly part of the reason I sport a beard myself. That and to hide my bum-chin.

I seem to remember asking my mum if we could go to the Viking centre in York and getting some sort of answer that placated me whilst at the same time she thought “it’s 600 miles away. We’ll just take him to the sea and pretend that one of the boats is a Viking ship.” Or this may have entirely been a fabrication in my head. I’m not sure which.

Anyway, as a Grown Up, I am able to decide to go to these sorts of places if I want to! So I did.

Now, I’m not going to lie, my favourite part of the whole museum was the fact that they had a Viking poo and I’ve pretty much forgotten everything else they had there. I do remember it being an enjoyable experience and that some of the characters in costume have a lot of patience to deal with wave after wave of schoolchildren all day long. I also remember that the last Viking king was called Eric Bloodaxe which is a ridiculously cool name and I immediately texted my friend who was about to become a father for the first time to insist that he called his child that.

There were three other attractions linked to the Viking centre and I managed to make it to two of them. The first was called Dig which is basically an interactive archaeology lesson. The guy at the Viking Centre booked me a timeslot for the tour without telling me that it was pretty much just based at kids. I turned up to Dig to discover that I was the only one booked on the tour. The nice chap there, Adam, was really cool and basically gave me a one-to-one archaeology lesson. I learnt a lot and it actually made me wish that I’d studied history further at school, although I think I was put off by my secondary school’s focus on the two World Wars and not all the cool stuff with knights and castles that I was interested in.

The other was Barley Hall which had an awesome Horrible Histories exhibition and I recommend if you get a chance. I bloody love Horrible Histories.

I also managed to make a quick stop at Clifford’s Tower, an English Heritage property which used to be part of York Castle. I bloody love castles.

As I drove further and further north, I noticed that there were more and more wind farms. I personally find them to be an attractive feature of the landscape. They are like the modern day version of a windmill. The fact that we don’t have them down in the south-east seems to be a bit of “not on my doorstep” snobbery which I don’t understand because they are both pretty and practical.

I also saw a pig farm for what I’m sure is the first time ever although I have been since informed that there is one near to my town.

I stayed at another motel which basically seemed to be a combination of a hostel and self-cleaning portaloos. The toilets freaked me out a bit. The first time I went in, I heard an “ahh” as if the person in the cubicle next to me had just let out a sigh of relief. When it happened a second and third time, I was a little freaked out by the fact that the toilet seemed to be upset at my presence.

Angel of the North

Before I left for my trip, I had asked in a Facebook what one thing people would recommend me not missing on my trip and I decided to try to incorporate as many as possible. One of these was the Angel of the North.

I had seen it on my drive into Newcastle but after doing a little research I discovered that you can park up and walk right up to it/her which I decided to do before setting out for the day.

I arrived there and as with Dahl’s grave, I was the only visitor which made it slightly more magical. It really is an iconic piece of art and is quite inspiring. I liked the artist’s reason for picking an angel which is “because no-one has seen one.” Something quite romantic about that, in a weird way.

Hadrian’s Wall

Then I moved on to what ostensibly was the purpose of my trip, to visit Hadrian’s Wall. I made several stops along the route, stopping at all the manned English Heritage properties and attempting to find a couple of unmanned places as well although they tended not to be as well signposted.

As I travelled from east to west, there was more of the wall available to see and I think I did it in the right direction. I had considered the other way but due to a few things being closed on certain days, this worked out better.

It was like a stripper teasing me by showing a bit more of what I wanted to see every few miles.

I’m not entirely sure what to say about the wall. It is largely still buried or where it has been excavated, it has often been stolen to use for use in other buildings. As such, it would do a very poor job of keeping the Scots at bay if we happened to go to way with them now.

I am glad I went but I was hoping for a bit more.

I am a fan of walls. I like them. They hold my roof in place and stop other people seeing me go to the toilet. However after seeing the Great Wall of China a few years ago, I guess Hadrian’s Wall was never going to be able to compete.

The best part of it was that aside from petrol costs, it was an entirely free day out due to my EH membership, as I managed to refuse every member of staff who inevitably tried to sell me a guidebook upon arrival.

There were a lot of Roman forts along the route all largely made in the same style and I could probably now draw that from memory. It would be a pretty bad drawing, mind, as my art skills are particularly limited.

I was also especially chuffed that I could recognise pieces of samian pottery which Adam from Dig had familiarised me with the previous day.

I ended my day with a visit to Carlisle castle and all I could think pretty much the whole time was that it smelt like kebab shop pizza. It had one of the freakiest areas that I’ve seen in any castle before with a long dark room with a barrel lit up at the opposite end and the sound of bats everywhere.

Bucket List item added: 48 : Climb Scafell Pike

The following day I had intended to spend in the Lake District climbing Scafell Pike. I don’t often fall foul of the doing something because it’s there logic, however mountains seem to be different. Last year I was visiting a friend in Bangor and we decided to climb Snowdon. I thought it would be nice to climb the highest mountain in England this year.

Unfortunately the day on which I had intended to do so, the weather was forecast to be 30 mph winds and heavy rain. Having struggled climbing up a couple of hills along the Hadrian’s Wall route, I thought it would be best to attempt it at a less dangerous and more pleasurable time, so I have added this to my bucket list.

Bucket List item completed – 45: Go on a random adventure with Dan Light

It so happened that Dan Light got in touch with my at this point to meet up with me. He’d previously been busy at a wedding and working but had always intended to join for part of my adventure From this point on, the trip was much less planned anyway as the only thing I had left that I definitely wanted to do was visit Cadbury World, so I arranged to meet up with Dan in Bournville the following day to go there and to plan the rest of our journey from then on.

Cadbury World

I had managed to avoid bad traffic previously except in Gateshead in rush hour and had foolishly assumed that I would never again in my life encounter any problems. I managed to get stuck in slow moving traffic on the M6 and then lost in Birmingham city centre, which ended up with me being two hours meeting Dan.

When I finally got there, Dan made friends with an 82 year old man called John who had given him a brief tour and history of the local area. We immediately went to Cadbury World as it was due to close in an hour’s time and I really really did not want to miss it. Fortunately, that was just the time for last entry and we got a good couple of hours wandering around the factory.

I was hoping but not expecting it to be like Willy Wonka’s factory which is my all time favourite film ever and will probably be so until I die.

I was not disappointed. In fact, I’d say it was even better than Wonka’s factory. I think Dan got a little bit annoyed at me singing “I’ve Got A Golden Ticket” over and over so some of the time I just sung it in my head.

I don’t really want to spoil the experience for anyone who might want to go themselves, as I found it to be a truly magical one.

I will say is that it is quirky in a similar way to Wonka’s which I really wasn’t expecting at all. I was thinking it would just be the tour of some chocolate making facilities but it was much much more of an experience. The chocolate making part of things was awesome as well. They don’t have Oompa Loompas but they do have machines which are actually incredible in how they work.

You aren’t allowed to take many photos there. I’m assuming they are worried about Slugworth getting hold of their secrets and copying their products.

Suffice to say, this was definitely the highlight of my trip. I would recommend it to anyone of any age.

Shakespeare

That evening we decided to stay in Stratford-upon-Avon and watch Hamlet at RSC. This allowed Dan first hand proof of how bad my navigational skills are as, using the GPS on my phone, I managed to lead us to the theatre’s warehouse in the middle of an industrial estate rather than the theatre itself in the town centre.

We managed to get there in time, drank some ridiculously expensive wine and enjoyed a brilliant performance. I had previously decided that I would try to read the Shakespeare plays that I’d not previously read and after this, I am tempted to book a long weekend in Stratford every so often and check out all the plays they are putting on at that time.

The following day, we went to visit Shakespeare’s Birthplace. Which, frankly, is a very overpriced trip to an old house with a couple of videos. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy it but just that I didn’t enjoy fifteen pounds worth of fun.

I did find a half price Rough Guide to Shakespeare in the gift shop which I have found very useful so far.

MAD Museum

Another place we visited in Stratford was the MAD Museum – the museum of Mechanical Art and Design. I had been looking on that there internet the night before for things to do and knowing that Dan did a degree in engineering and loves this sort of thing, I decided to take him there as a thank you for enduring me trying to force him to be cultured with all the Shakespeare stuff.

This museum is incredible. Any description of it probably won’t do it justice. Imagine you walk into a mad scientists laboratory and there’s all these things going on all at once with machines doing random things. None of them are functional, all of them are beautiful and fascinating.

I highly recommend this. It was the second best thing I saw on the whole trip and at under half the price of Shakespare’s Birthplace, I would choose to visit this twice and buy an ice cream rather than go to the birthplace if and when I go back to Stratford.

That evening, we stayed at Pontins in Burnham-on-Sea because it was the cheapest place available on the journey to Cornwall. We paid £19 for a four person chalet 2 minutes walk from the beach.

After bonding with the security guards over the fact that Carling tastes like piss, they gave us directions to the beach. We’d bought ourselves a BBQ and food which we enjoyed, watched the sun go down, had some beer and I let Dan beat me at boules.

Eden Project

The final day was spent with a visit to the Eden Project. Looking out of the window of our room in Pontins, it was exceptionally sunny so I thought for the last day of my holiday I would wear shorts and t-shirt!

It turned out to be a bad decision as about 10 minutes into the Eden Project, we had to go back to get our coats.

Eden is a very pretty place and an impressive project. We probably didn’t spend enough time there as there is a lot to see and take in and if you’re rushing around you won’t get too much of it. We do now have annual passes and I may well attempt to go back there at some point. Especially as we missed the opening of the longest zipwire in England by one day.

Bucket List Item completed – 47: Drive across a country from one extreme to the other

After this, we returned home. On my bucket list, I had put down driving across a country from one extreme to the other. Now, technically I didn’t drive from one extreme to the other but I pretty much drove to every corner of England. I wanted to go to Land’s End but the hour each way to do so wasn’t available as I wanted to get back for a friend’s birthday celebrations.

So I am counting it. I don’t care what you think. It’s my list and I drove 1,450 miles which is Land’s End to John o’Groats and most of the way back again, so I am counting it. I make the rules here.

If you want to see all of the photos from my trip, they are up as a Facebook album which I think should be public. If you can’t get to it, let me know and I’ll attempt to adjust the privacy settings.

Footnote:
1. The Great Radnor Park Fair Incident occurred in 2009 when I went to the fun fair with some friends and bought a wristband to allow me to go on any ride. I am not very keen on rides in general and after going on the dodgems, the ghost train and the bumper cars, my friends wanted to go on the rage cage. This is not something I had any intention of doing and so Natalie suggested that I go on the kiddies roller-coaster Being an tight accountant and wanting to go to the most out of my ticket, I thought this was a good idea. I queued up for the ride and got right to the front and the guy waved me on. I got in the front of the roller-coaster and a few minutes later, I got a tap on the shoulder and the guy asked me where my kid was. I said I didn’t have one and he told me that it was a kid’s ride and that I had to get off. Stunned, I was speechless and unable to counter what at the time seemed to me like a flawless argument.

Prague: An idiot’s guide.

I went to Prague last week. I also want to be a Bill Bryson/Michael Palin type, so here are my thoughts on Prague.

Travel

Prague is small. Like, not the size of Folkestone small, but still quite small.

Despite the fact that it took me over an hour to find a metro station on my first day and then even longer to find one that would sell me the ticket that I wanted, this is more due to the fact that I lack a sense of direction than any problems with the public transportation service.

I think because I’m used to London, the fact that I could and often did – occasionally on purpose – walk pretty much anywhere I wanted to seemed incomprehensible upon arrival. I thought that I would need transport passes that would allow me to travel on the metro, trams and funicular wherever and whenever I wanted. I was wrong.

The price of these all-day or multi-day tickets is over 100 crowns a day, but individual tickets that last half an hour are just 24 crowns. I would advise you to go for these individual tickets as I don’t think I made enough journeys to warrant the cost on any of the four days I was there.

These tickets are also only available from certain ‘information’ stations. So by the time I’d eventually found a metro station on the first day, I was told that I’d need to go to another one to get one of these tickets. I had managed to walk past one of the information stations about 5 minutes walk from my hotel and so adamant that I wasn’t going to pay more than I needed, I walked to the next one. The metro seems to work on an honour system though, as not once did I have to present my ticket. Had I known this, I probably would have just bunked the tube to the next station.

The metro is really easy to use. There are just three lines which interest at three transfer stations. This makes it extremely easy to work out which route to take and which platform you need. Compared to the London Underground, it’s a right doddle.

I didn’t try using any trams as I didn’t have any need to but from the map it looks like between the metro, trams and buses pretty much the whole city is easily accessible.

It seems that the taxi situation is slightly less praiseworthy. There are two taxi firms – AAA and 111- which are guaranteed to give you a fair rate and these are the only ones allowed to park directly outside of the airport and at certain ‘Fair Price’ taxi ranks. These taxi drivers are very good. I accidentally tried to get into the driver seat – cars on the continent have driver’s seats on the other side, who’d have thought it? – which made him chuckle and then he amusingly had a go at me for taking my own suitcase out of the boot as he said that was “my job”. He got a tip.

On the way back to the airport, the hotel called a cab for me which ended up costing around £5 more on the £15 fare that I had paid to get there. The driver also kept swerving two and fro about the road, making me feel like I was going to die. This driver did not get a tip. It looked as though you could have pre-booked one of the fair price taxis for the return trip to the airport at half the price, which in hindsight is something I wish I had done.

Food and Drink

Traditional Czech food seems to largely consist of meat. As I don’t eat meat, I didn’t taste any of this traditional cuisine.

I didn’t find any problem getting anything to eat though. A personal preference was to try to find restaurants which were slightly off the tourist trail and less crowded which seemed to pay off as service was generally very quick and friendly. The prices of food were a lot less than I expected. I ended up paying between £3 and £7 for a main meal, generally at the lower end of the scale.

As you’d expect for a capital city, there are a lot of restaurants with different cuisine. I tried something at an Austrian restaurant which I was expecting to be something new and exciting but turned out to essentially be macaroni cheese. My favourite restaurant was Hombre del Monde which I heartily recommend as they have the most amazing quesadilas (anything with a lot of cheese basically suckers me in, though) and is literally right outside Andel metro station.

Beer was also quite cheap. You’d be looking at around £1.50 a pint. Even though a quarter of the pint would be head, you’re still getting a good deal.

I arrived in Prague a few days after a ban on alcohol over 20% came into effect. Some might say that they had heard I was coming, especially as the ban is due to be lifted a week after I have left. As such, I didn’t get my hands on any absinthe. There were a large number of shops which appeared to be specifically absinthe stores which seemed to be practically closed. A number of places were selling ‘prohibition cocktails’ but I didn’t try any of these. It was a bit odd to see all these businesses which would have been fully operational just a week or so before almost being pushed out of business.

The guide book also told me that there was a pub which sells banana beer among other unique varieties. Unfortunately I didn’t manage to make it there, but if you do, please tell me what it’s like.

Attractions

I had bought the Lonely Planet pocket guidebook which I disagree with in some respects. Some of the things they said weren’t very good (e.g. The Museum of Communism) were some of my favourite parts of Prague, and some of the things they said were top sights (e.g. Loreta) I found rather dull. On the whole though, the guidebook was rather useful and one of the cheaper ones on the market. Although obviously after reading this, you probably no longer need one.

I’m not going to lie – Prague castle was the big selling point when I was deciding where to go and I spent around 5 hours there. I could easily have spent more if it wasn’t getting a bit too crowded and I wasn’t getting so hungry.

At noon each day, there is a changing of the guards which I found slightly comical. The music for some reason made me think of Thunderbirds. Then they push each other away. Then they do a silly Monty Python-esque slow walk. It’s definitely worth checking out. There’s quite a good video on YouTube here if you want to see it beforehand.

I bloody love castles. I’ve not worked out why. I think I want to be a knight, really. But they just hold a fascination for me. However, by far the best thing at the castle was in the guard’s tower on Golden Lane where you can pay money to fire a crossbow. I was so immensely rubbish at it but it was by far the coolest thing I did the whole time I was away.

It probably won’t surprise you that I also checked out Vysehrad castle which is south of the river. It’s awesome that you can see one castle from the other and this one did have it’s little treats such as a little playground with exercise equipment which I especially enjoyed (I am just a big kid) but if unlike me, you don’t have the patience for two castles, check out the main one on the top of the hill. It’ll be more crowded, but probably more enjoyable.

As with any capital city, there are a lot of museums. Some more enjoyable than others. Of the ones I visited, I thought that the Museum of Communism and the Kafka Museum were the best.

The Museum of Communism gives you a great sense of the recent history of the Czech Republic and makes you proud of the people there who stood up for what they believed in, especially Jan Palach who burnt himself alive to protest the Russian invasion – a memorial to him is at the top end of Wenceslas Square in the form of a wooden cross in the pavement which looks like it has suffereed a small very localised earthquake.

The Kafka Museum was a great and surreal experience which reflects the authors work. I’ve not encountered something that so accurately reflects the work of the person it is playing homage to. I don’t want to say too much more as it might ruin the experience, but it’s something I highly recommend.

The Jewish Museum recently surpassed the castle as most visited tourist attraction in the city. It’s not actually just one museum. It’s several museums based in various synagogues in the Jewish quarter. You can buy a ticket that gets you entry to most of them or a ticket that gets you entry to all of them. I went for the first option and I was glad I did so as after visiting them all, I was all museumed out. Especially as the first one I went in, The Pinkas Synagogue, was easily the most moving. With several rooms lined wall to wall with the names of the 70,000+ Czech jews who died in World War 2, it really hits home just how many people lost their lives and it’s even more moving when you realise that this is only around 1% of the total who died.

The other museum I visited was the Mucha Museum which I found interesting enough but it didn’t bowl me over. It was the only art museum I visited (aside from various rooms at the castle) as the The Museum of Cubism has been mysteriously shut down.

Other sites I visited that I wasn’t overly impressed by was the Bethlehem Chapel which is an old chapel which has been refurbished but which is basically just a room with some chairs and a pulpit. Loreta I felt was just a church. It has some nice treasures and sculptures but it wasn’t worth the 30 minutes I spent trying to locate it and seemed overpriced for the size of it.

The astronomical clock is one of the most well known attractions in Prague and is slap bang in the middle of the city. However, if you want a good view of when it chimes hourly, you probably have to go early in the morning as I went at 2pm and the crowds were so big that I could barely tell what was going on.

The city is littered with a bunch of random surrealist artworks, mainly by David Cerny. The Piss Scuplture being the most famous. They are enjoyable to stumble upon and if you’re nearby I would pop and have a visit but I wouldn’t go especially out of your way to see them. And I definitely wouldn’t go out of your way (which you have to literally do as it took me a while to locate it) to see the cubist lamppost unless you have a particular interest in art.

I would recommend checking out the Memorial to the Victims of Communism which is at the bottom of the east side of Petrin Hill and is rather haunting – apparently more so at night. It can mark the start to a trip up the hill on the Funicular railway and to be honest, who wouldn’t want to travel on a train that’s got fun as part of it’s name?

The hill itself has been romanticised in the works of Milan Kundera such as The Unbearable Lightness of Being (which is about girls, right?). I didn’t find it too interesting though. It would probably be more pleasant on a sunny day on a romantic date with a partner but it didn’t really have much to hold my attention. I was particularly not fond of the lookout tower designed to be like the Eiffel Tower. I refused to go up it on the grounds that it was ugly and ruined the landscape.

Entertainment

Prague is a very English-friendly city. As I was travelling on my own, I decided to plan lots of evening entertainment to keep myself entertained after a long day of sightseeing and it was pretty easy to do so.

Being a cultured type, I obviously decided to go watch an opera. There are a few opera houses – I ended up going to the State Opera which is just off Wenceslas Square because they were showing an opera by Antonin Dvořák as I wanted to see something Czech.

The opera I saw was Rusalka which is based on the same myth as Disney’s The Little Mermaid. It was much easier to follow than when I watched La Traviata in Russia as there were both English subtitles and the performers were moving around. I enjoyed the performance and managed to get my ticket for £6 including booking fee by booking the cheapest available ticket in advance from the internet. There were lots of empty seats though so I don’t think you’d have a problem if you turned up on the day.

The following night I went to see a performance of Wonderful Circus by Lanterna Magika which is non-verbal performance art so that it can be understood by speakers of any language. This cost around £25 booking in advance but again, there were plenty of empty seats so buying when you are there could be considerably cheaper.

The performance was enjoyable enough although it seemed to be quite a lot of the same idea repeated with a poorly flowing narrative and little development. Obviously this is slightly limited due to the format of the performance, but to be honest I expected it to be better than it was.

One thing I noted about Czech theatre from these two performances is that they seem to like the use of video backgrounds where the characters move between video and real life. I don’t know if this is a trend throughout all performances but I thought it was unusual as I’ve not seen it anywhere else before.

On my final night, I went to the cinema. There’s a cinema which again is just off Wenceslas Square called Cinema Svetozor which specifically tells you on their website which films are ‘English Friendly’ due to either being spoken in English and subtitled in Czech or vice versa.

It cost £4 to go to the cinema which struck me as ludicrously cheap as you’d be paying at least twice that in England. I decided to try to watch a Czech film rather than something like Expendables 2, so I ended up watching The Greatest Wish which I actually found really moving and would recommend you try to check out if it is ever released in your country.

If I was to go again, I’d go and see some Black Light Theatre. The Lanterna had elements of it but a full show would be interesting to watch. That and I had no idea what it was until I got home and saw a bit on YouTube

Also, there seem to be a lot of casinos in Prague. I managed to find 3 before I’d found a metro station. So if you fancy returning home with no money, that’s also a possibility!

Conclusion

I liked Prague. I had a great time. I have been trying to work out if it’s because it’s an amazing city or because I was able to do exactly what I wanted to do. I think it was a little from column A and a little from column B. Being able to do exactly what I wanted in Skegness definitely wouldn’t have been as enjoyable. I therefore think it is a lovely city which I would recommend.

I was there for 5 nights which I think was just about long enough, although I did rush around quite a bit. If you’re not worried about seeing absolutely everything and just want to get the best bits, then 3-4 nights is probably adequate. If you want to completely take in the whole city at a nice relaxing pace, then I’d recommend a week.

There, done. Do you think there’s an opening for the next Bill Bryson then?