Month: June 2013

Bucket List Item Completed – 17: Complete Super Mario Bros. 3

I’ve never really been very good at computer games. I don’t have the patience or concentration span and will

often rage quit whilst throwing the controller down in anger, claim that all computer games are impossible or tell my opponent I’m letting them win so they don’t cry.

When I was little, my friend Arran who lived two doors down from me had a NES and I used to go round all the time to play Super Mario Bros. I was always Luigi as it was his console and from that point onwards, my character whenever I have a choice on Mario Kart or Mario Party will always be Luigi. I think that he must have had a hard time of it, always living in the shadow of his older, more popular brother with better facial hair. It gave me empathy for what my own brother must feel every time he is around me.

I was always a bit jealous as it wasn’t for another year or two that we were to get a NES ourselves. Anyone who has played any of the Mario games will likely know how enjoyable and addictive they are. They are set at a level where they are difficult enough to keep you having to learn a few new tricks but not too difficult that the end of the tunnel seems too far away. They are generally beautifully crafted games which don’t require too much intellectual investment which makes them perfect for gamers of any age to enjoy.

We got a NES and then a little later a SNES. When we were able to prise my mum away from playing Dr Mario, my favourite game was Super Mario Bros 3. I can’t remember much about the second game but from playing it for 30 seconds now, it seems to be not as good or intuitive and have gone off on a different path, replacing coins with the more Pacman like cherries. The third game is more true to the original whilst adding enough new elements to it to make it unique and interesting.

However, I didn’t have the patience or time to complete the game which – at the time – didn’t annoy me. It wasn’t until my OCD of not finishing things that I’d started kicked in that the fact that I’d not completed one of my favourite games from my childhood became a bugbear of mine.

Around 8 years ago, I borrowed my housemate Tommy’s NES to attempt to complete the game. I got some distance through but got stuck on a tricky level. The original NES version of the game does not allow you to save your progress and so I ended up leaving Tommy’s NES on for two days straight so I could attempt to finish it when I got home from work.

The SNES version we had on Super Mario All-Stars did have a save function which made me feel embarrassed that I hadn’t completed it at the time. What made me even more embarrassed a while ago was watching this guy beat the game in 11 minutes flat on the YouTube. I was reassured by all of the comments from people complaining that they never managed to complete the game. I have just read more of them and discovered that the video is a tool-assisted speedrun. I don’t entirely understand what that is but I’m going to take it to mean that the dude cheated.

I decided that I was going to finally kill off the feeling of annoyance in style by playing the game on an emulator on my 38 inch TV. I found on eBay for a tenner a Retrolink NES USB Controller (pictured here) that I could plug straight into my PC and play it as if it was the original game.

I plugged it in excitedly and fired the game up. It didn’t disappoint. Some games that you loved, when you play them now, have aged dramatically and feel clunky and sometimes unplayable. Not Mario. The games are almost timeless and I can imagine that even in another few generations of game consoles time, they will still be played due to their simplicity and brilliant design.

I managed initially to go at the rate of one world every half an hour which is good, because that’s generally how long my concentration span could last before my mind would start to wander and I’d go off and do something else. I was a little shocked when I came to the first mushroom house and Toad tells me that he will give me something that will help me on my quest which appears to be a marijuana leaf (it is a racoon leaf however in the mushroom house it’s green but when you get it in a level, it is red). Musrooms, pot… I wouldn’t let my kids play this.

Every time you get to the castle at the end of the level, you meet a Toad who tells you that the king of that world has been transformed and that you have to go find the wand to transform him back. Now, I don’t know about you, but if I was a king and has seen the kings of maybe 2 or 3 other worlds fall foul of one of these spells I’d up my security slightly because one Toad clearly isn’t enough against a determined Koopa.

The game becomes more difficult around world 4 or 5. The levels become trickier with more dexterity required and larger number of baddies who have better ways of attacking you. However once you learn the way they move, attack or how to make Mario move in certain ways, then the game becomes easier and in fact, I found the end of the game slightly anti-climatic as I managed to mop up the last few levels relatively easily.

You do get a HILARIOUS joke from the game designers who try to persuade you that the game is not yet over and then a funky piece of music with a video recapping each of the worlds which I enjoyed doing a celebration dance to.

I am very glad I have completed this so that another niggling thing at the back of my mind will disappear.

We don’t like cricket…

Cricket is one of those sports that I’ve never really got. I mean, I understand all the rules but I’ve never really got the fascination with it.

I used to play when I was little. When I was around 12 or so, I’d go along to Folkestone Cricket Club juniors every Friday night. It was quite good fun but I don’t remember being any good. The only two things that stick out in my mind as happening whilst I was there are being told that Cameroon had beaten Argentina in the 1990 World Cup and once – and only once – bowling out the best cricket player in my class at school.

I don’t really like the idea of someone throwing something hard at me as fast as they can so I’m not too keen on batting and I’m always worried that I’ll fail to catch a ball that’s coming straight at me (mainly because it often happens) and I can’t throw very well so I was never great at fielding. The only part of my game that could have been classed as almost adequate was bowling, however I was a confidence bowler and after being hit for six or bowling badly, I’d start to fall apart.

This was evidenced the last time I played cricket about 5 years ago in a one-off game. I bowled one over but within that over I got 13 balls. It was even more frustrating as I’d been practising whilst my team was batting and was doing reasonably well.

I think the thing I liked most about cricket was the unique scoring system used when scoring with pen and paper in the old style scorebooks. I like stats and odd systems of recording data, but that’s probably the accountant in me.

The main problem I have with watching cricket is my concentration span. I struggle to watch a film if it goes on longer than 90 minutes as my mind will tend to wander, so trying to follow a game that lasts for up to 5 days is definitely beyond me.

The one really good memory I’ve got of watching cricket is the 2005 Ashes series when I was living with Lewis. We’d get back from work and catch an hour or two of the day’s play. It was enjoyable because we were having a few drinks, having fun and enjoying all the nicknames the Aussies had for Shane Warne – I think we counted about 7 in total. On top of that, it was a close series which England won and that made it even more enjoyable.

I’ve often thought that I might enjoy cricket more if I’m watching a shorter overs game where they are more likely to just try and whack the ball rather than playing tactical forward defensive shots (or whatever they are called) all the time which is the sort of thing I don’t have the concentration for.

As such, when I got sent a discounted offer for the Kent v Sussex 40 overs match that was only just 3 days after Father’s day, I thought it would be not only a great present for my dad but also a good way to spend some time with my family and to see if I could enjoy watching a cricket match.

My dad loves cricket and when I pop round, he’ll often be watching it on the old telebox. In his youth, he used to umpire matches and this once resulted in him losing some teeth when a fielded ball accidentally went astray and hit him in the mouth. He used to take me to games when I was younger but I’d usually spend the time playing with other children that had been brought along by their dads rather than concentrating on the game. It seemed like a perfect present for him.

I have to admit, the game was actually one of the most enjoyable days of the year so far for me.

I met up with my brother Dan, my dad and our cousin Dom to get the bus up to Canterbury. We got there early afternoon and it happened to be the one sunny day of the week. Dom had worried me by texting me in the morning to tell me to check out the weather forecast which was exceptionally gloomy but we ended up basically sunbathing at the side of the pitch. Getting there an hour early meant we had front row seats nearest to the wicket.

My dad went to get us some ciders and shortly after arrival, the Spitfire Showgirls came round giving out gifts. I was surprised that there were cheerleaders at a cricket match – it doesn’t seem like the sort of sport where there is that level of glamour. They handed us out some flags, some cards with 4 and 6 on either side and some posters. These were to come in exceptionally useful later.

The other people in our party – two of my uncles and my friend Adam – arrived a little later and the atmosphere started to liven up as it got closer to kick off, or whatever it’s called in cricket. Bat off, perhaps?

Sussex batted first and they ended up just knocking us off the park. They got numerous sixes and fours and we only got a few wickets. The mood became a bit more sombre as it seemed unlikely that Kent would overcome their score and record the biggest comeback in 40 over cricket.

However, a few overs they came into bat, the mood became a bit more optimistic. Needing a run rate of 8.4 per over, they initially started off slower but picked up quickly and even my nay-saying Uncle Steve who said they still weren’t scoring quick enough started to think we could do it.

An incredible 118 from 53 balls for Darren Stevens put us well within touching distance and despite losing a couple of wickets near to the end to make it more nerve-wracking, they pulled through to record a record comeback and with a total of 673 runs, recorded the highest scoring 40 over match.

When Kent came into bat, we started using the 4/6 cards that the Showgirls had handed out. For some reason they have “THWACK!” written on them and the first time we got a boundary, I decided to shout it out at the same time. This soon caught on and me, Dan, Dom and Adam were shouting it every boundary and even managing to get some of the crowd behind us to join in as well.

The Showgirls had a few standard dances that they cycled through every boundary and they were moving slightly around the ground. I love dancing even if I’m not very good at it and caught up in the mood of the exceptional comeback, I decided that I was going to try to dance along with them when they were in front of us. I got the first of the dances down – it was literally shaking your pompoms and then lifting your knees, however the second was more tricky. Mostly, I was just glad that they didn’t think I was taking the piss as they seemed to laugh along with us, although they did seem to move round to the next part of the ground rather quickly.

I think generally, I enjoyed getting into a game that I didn’t think I would enjoy and also enjoyed being a bit lairy. I was literally on the edge of my seat for the last 10 overs of the match. It may have been a combination of the alcohol, the atmosphere, the fact that it was such a unique record-breaking game or just that deep in my heart I did actually want to like cricket, but my love for the sport has been if not rekindled then at least kindled.

Vikings

When I was in primary school, I developed a fascination with Vikings. This is why I went to visit the Jorvik Viking Centre in York on my recent road trip around England.

So when I noticed that there was a show named Vikings on Lovefilm Instant, I got excited and decided to watch it as surely 4,083 Lovefilm viewers who have given it an average rating of 4.5 stars can’t be wrong.

The show is exclusively on Lovefilm, as are some new shows that Amazon has commissioned in a move to try to capture part of the TV market and compete with Netflix. Netflix have recently acquired the rights to the latest series of Arrested Development which is a much smarter move as it already has an established fanbase. Lovefilm are gambling on the fact that the fact the show is created by Michael Hirst who also produced the successful Tudors and the general appeal of the era.

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with Amazon. Lovefilm has been a blessing. Living on my own, it keeps me occupied when I get a bit bored. I am able to stream a random film on a whim. I also love my Kindle. I didn’t think I would, but it’s amazing to be able to download a book and start reading it 30 seconds later. It’s also a lot easier to hold than a big book and the fact that lots of classics I haven’t read are available to download for free appeals to the snob in me who wants to have read these classics.

However, I hate the fact that Amazon is killing off books, bookshops and other local stores and has barely paid any tax. I’m conflicted. Anyway, I digress.

So when, I was at school, I liked the Vikings. They had cool hats, cool boats and even cooler beards. Along with the fact that I need to hide my bum-chin, I think Vikings may have been my inspiration for having had a massive beard throughout most of my adult life.

Watching the show, I discovered that either our teachers glossed over or I forgot about the fact that Vikings spent most of their time raping and pillaging. This now sits uneasy with me. There wasn’t too much mention of it in Jorvik either.

I’m not saying that this is predominant in the show, as it also focuses on the internal politics of the Northmen, but it is a large part of what happens over the course of the nine episodes.

To give a summary of the show, without meaning to give away any spoilers, it focuses on Ragnar Lodbrok who frankly is the only character’s name I can remember as it is the only one that is said over and over. Ragnar may or may not have been a genuine historical figure but is known for his raids upon the British Isles.

He is obsessed with going west, so much so that I was expecting him to start blasting out the Village People hit. He convinces a bunch of his compatriots to join him and go against the orders of the Earl who forbade it. Upon arrival in Britain, they find a town of priests who they barbarically slay with Ragnar capturing one and eventually turning him into his slave.

The priest acts as the voice of the 21st Century Western moral compass, discussing with Ragnar the issues of rape and slavery. I’ve been struggling to decide whether this character is necessary. It feels like it is spoon feeding us what we should think rather than allowing us to make our own judgements.

Later in the series, there is a baby whose father is unknown. Rather than get in Jeremy Kyle, they claim it is a god who fathered it. This is symptomatic of the show where it sprinkles mentions of Norse gods and mythology throughout the show.

Some parts of it are fact, some are fiction and it can be a difficult line to tread. The show is reasonably enjoyable to watch but I think they are wobbling along the line and perhaps by doing so they will please neither viewers who want historical accuracy nor those who want a bloodthirsty drama.

Vikings is enjoyable enough but not worthy of 4.5 stars and has made me reassess my fondness for Vikings.

Bucket List Item 44: Convince Battleska Galactica to reform

This one was a bit of a cheating item, I guess. When I wrote about the life and times of Battleska Galactica, I mentioned that a girl called Hannah Beatton had started a Facebook petition to get the band to play a reunion gig.

For some reason that I am still unaware of, she had put a 6-week deadline on it which was never going to happen as it would have taken me longer than that to remember how to play guitar.

Everyone in the band got on board the idea quite quickly and we planned the gig for December 21st, with four rehearsals scheduled for the two months prior to this. After some discussions around venue, support bands and the like, we ended up playing Stripes with T.A.R, my favourite local band – 3dbs Down – and 7 Day Conspiracy.

We had almost as many drummer issues as Spinal Tap. Pierre has been abroad for what now seems like an eternity and Motown was up for it but as he is making a living out of music and touring and all that exciting stuff, he was unavailable to practice. In place, we called up Baxter – one time former SuperPartyFunTimes drummer (more on that another time) and currently drumming in Battleska offshoot Call Me Malcolm. Motown and his amazing moustache did make it back to play on one hastily rehearsed during soundcheck version of Skank Away Your Heartache which was a nice touch.

We all dressed up in Christmas-related costumes with reindeers, angels, snowmen and Mr and Mrs Santa. However Lewis being Lewis hadn’t arranged his outfit until the day of the gig. He phoned me up and asked what everyone else was doing. After telling him, he managed to forget what I had told him and came as Santa. Which was my costume. I even said “Well this is embarrassing. One of us is going to have to change,” but he didn’t get the hint. I don’t miss Lewis.

Just like in the olden days, Trev’s attendance at the gig was seemingly random. This time he was genuinely gutted about missing out due to an ear infection. Back in the day, Trev used to play both for us and Kingskin and we always knew that they were his first love and we were his bit on the side.

For the reunion show he was the most excited about it. I received a text from him which unfortunately has disappeared from my phone now. I had asked the band whether they would be able to make the gig on a certain date and his reply was something along the lines of: “Why don’t we play next week? And the week after? And the week after that?”

Filling out Stripes again, like it was in the olden days, was pretty cool. I had an awesome night, got drunk and got upset that it all went so quickly. The gig itself was incredible. It was just like the olden days and it made me miss playing regularly.

For some reason, they had put a mic in front of me which – after a brief experiment shortly after I joined the band – was never allowed. This I found to be incredible. I could shout whenever I wanted and talk drunken crap into the mic. It made my day. Being aware that I am not the best of singers and that I don’t know many of our lyrics despite writing a number of them (although to be fair, Luke doesn’t either) I turned the mic around and allowed Dan Light and Emma Gresswell to shout/sing into it as much as they wanted.

For about the past 50,000 years, Skid has been jokingly (I think it was jokingly anyway) trying to kick me out of the band and take my place. I ended up in front of him in the crowd during My Brother Thom and inspiration hit me. I handed him my pick and told him to start strumming. It took him a while to work out what he was doing as I am left handed and he’s right handed, but it sort of worked. He has later told me this was the best moment of his life. I think he needs to get out more.

I don’t remember playing well. I was quite drunk. At the same time I don’t remember playing badly. I do remember that for some reason the amp I was borrowing decided it was going to feedback a lot which was quite annoying although I hope I managed to counter that reasonably well by muting my guitar when I wasn’t playing. Apologies to anyone there if I didn’t manage it well.

I also managed to accidentally break my crowdsurfing virginity. During an unscheduled and underrehearsed version of Sexual Walking, I put down my guitar as I finish playing before everyone else and fell forward into the crowd as I was off balance and exhausted. Somehow this resulted in me getting lifted up and making it half-way through the crowd. I am so accidentally rock’n’roll.

We donated all of the money we received for the gig from the door or some specially made t-shirts and hoodies and sales of some CDs we found we had left over to the Folkestone Winter Shelter. The shelter attempts to provide food accommodation for homeless people in local churches during the winter running from December to February. It’s a great cause and if you have a few pennies spare, I would recommend you donate to them. All in we managed to donate £220 to them which hopefully helped out the great cause.

After the gig, Luke managed to not give me a lift home as had been previously discussed so I had to carry all my gear back to my flat. Fortunately I managed to find a couple of helpers so it wasn’t too bad. We then tried to make it into Chambers but we unable to so I ended up wandering around town drunk and checking out all the amazing messages that had been posted on Facebook from people saying how much they enjoyed the gig and walking home with a smile on my face. It was easily the best thing I did in 2012.

A good friend of mine who was involved in organising the May the Forth celebrations in Folkestone had actually asked me before the December gig whether we would play at the event. I had told him that it would depend on how well that one went but that we were all enjoying ourselves so it was likely we would.

After it was done, I text the band to gauge interest and managed to get everyone on board. I am using that to count that as succeeding in this bucket list item.

The gig was at the Bar Below the View and was maybe a bit less memorable for me. It took a lot more organisation on my part. For the Stripes gig, we had basically let Chester from T.A.R. do the large part of the organisation. For this one, I had to get a bit more involved and also had to do a lot more organising of the band for rehearsals as people were busier this time. It reminded me of how difficult it was to get eight people in the same place at the same time on a regular basis.

Luke was keen for everyone to wear onesies on stage. I’m surprised he didn’t go with the Star Wars theme

and suggest everyone dressed up as characters so that he could be Princess Leia. I happened to have a Chewbacca costume which apparently counted as a onesie so I was able to combine the two. I really wish I hadn’t. I’m generally a bit of a sweaty man but this was ridiculous. I swear I was pretty close to fainting. I was so incredibly drained by the end of it but the gig was worth it as a whole.

For some reason, I decided to do the big fish little fish cardboard box dance instead of playing my solo during Skank Away Your Heartache. I’m not entirely sure why. It definitely seemed like a good idea at the time though.

Most importantly, Luke finally gave me a lift to and from a gig. It was only about 10 years coming.

Again, it was entirely a charity event and all the proceeds went to the Rainbow Centre which runs that Winter Shelter among other projects.

The conclusion from all of this is that I’m too old to do this on a regular basis. On top of that, everyone is so far apart now and grown up and busy for it to be logistically feasible to do this on a regular basis. It was nice to resurrect the band briefly and it made me miss playing music but at the same time made me realise that it is a chapter of my life that is now closed.

If you need a Battleska-esque fix, then please check out Call Me Malcolm who are effectively Battleska 2.0 with Luke on guitar, Lewis’s alter-ego on trombone, Trev on bass and Baxter on the beats.

The band are a natural progression from BSG, with songwriting pushed up slightly to the next level and arrangements simplified (trying to get 8 instruments onto one song at times could be a bit messy). Where in Battleska we were trying to combine The Ataris and Reel Big Fish, Call Me Malcolm sounds more like they are trying to combine Pendulum and Desmond Decker.

So, for now, RIP Battleska Galactica.

Photos borrowed/stolen from Leif Wildman and Kate Wintie/GIGglepics

Why I blog

I will have been writing this blog for two years this month and I thought it might be worth explaining why I do it.

After thinking about it, there are many different reasons. Here they are:

– I live on my own. I moved in just over two years ago and it is probably no coincidence I started up the blog shortly after. After house sharing for around 8 or 9 years, I no longer have someone around all the time to discuss things with. On top of this, I have no-one to keep my occupied when I am bored. There are literally dozens of people in the internet to interact with.

– User-driven content is my favourite part of the internet. It is much more personal and I find it much more interesting. I enjoy reading other peoples blogs – I have now linked to some of my favourite ones which I recommend you check out if you have time – and I hope that other people will enjoy mine in a similar way.

– I am hilarious and this is my gift to the world.

– Sometimes ideas will get stuck in my head and I will need to get them out in order to stop thinking about them. You know like when you get that annoying song stuck in your head and the only way to get it out is to sing it? Sometimes I have that with thoughts.

– This can happen when I get angry and I need to vent.

– On top of this, it helps to have the end goal of writing about something in order to help me worth through my thoughts in a hopefully coherent and logical manner.

– It’d be nice to think that sometimes I make others do the same.

– I am a vegetarian. I get asked fairly regularly why I am and sometimes it can be a bit frustrating to have to explain again why I am. I thought if I wrote why, I might get asked less.

– I am also an accountant. It’s not a particularly creative job and since my band split up, I have fewer and fewer creative outlets. I think I am a frustrated writer stuck spending my day dealing with numbers.

– I like to try to share the stuff that I love with other people in an attempt to make them fall in love with and appreciate the things I enjoy as well.

– I often find other people’s blogs inspiring. The reason I went on my road trip around England to see all the places that I’d wanted to see when I was little but never got a chance to was after reading about a friend who had wanted to visit St Paul’s Cathedral since they were little and finally managed to do so around 20 years later. I hope that I might occasionally inspire others.

– If I have a goal of blogging about something I intend to do then it will force me to do so. Once I’d started my Evolution of Pro Evolution project on the Unbelievable Jeff website, I felt like I had to continue with it through to completion. This is the reason I’ve made my bucket list public, so that people – and by people I mean mainly Natalie – will keep asking me how I’m getting on with it. In Natalie’s case, so that she can point out how much better she is doing at her bucket list.

– Blogging about my life will make it easier for biography writers to more accurately portray my life in years to come.

– It will also help me to remember what I’ve done and how I felt in years to come. It’s the text equivalent of a photo album. I’m very good at forgetting things and writing this blog has at times helped me to remember things that I’ve already done.

– In writing a blog, I can make my life seem much more interesting than it really is.

So, for a large number of all the reasons above, I would still write even if no-one ever reads but I would like to hope that people do.