Category: valentines day

Why Take Me Out may actually be the work of the devil

On this day of forced romanticism, I thought I’d take a few minutes out to write about another example of forced romanticism – Take Me Out.

It is actually one of my favourite shows – I’m not sure why, sometimes I just enjoy really trashy television – and I don’t think that I’ve missed more than a handful of episodes over the last few years. In fact, I even went to see an episode being filmed around a year or so ago.

At least 5 different people have also told me I should apply for the show.

However, something about the show has been bugging me recently. And that is the fact that it seems to perpetuate stereotypes about what men and women look for when selecting a partner.

I’m sure not everyone is as familiar with the show as I am, so I’ll give you a brief rundown of how it works.

A man comes down the “Love Lift”, parades himself in front of 30 women who each have a light in front of them which they will turn off if they decide they don’t want to date the man. The first chance they have to turn off is after they see what he looks like and he introduces himself (e.g. “Hi, I’m Dave and I’m from Scunthorpe!”).

So at this stage, a number of women will usually turn off based on how the chap looks. There are then two further rounds, during which the women will be able to turn off their light at any point they choose. These rounds are generally the bloke talking about himself on a video for a little while followed either by him showing off some talent (such as skateboarding, firebreathing, chopping vegetables really fast) or by his friends and family revealing some really embarrassing piece of information about him.

At this point, if there are any women with their lights still on, then the fella has got himself at date. However, this is where the disparity comes in. The man then has to narrow it down to two women based solely on looks and anything they’ve said previously. He does this whilst the crowd are baying at him. He then asks these two a question and selects between them based on their answer.

The guy has divulged a lot of information about himself over the past ten minutes or so, so the women are making an informed decision about whether they think he’s a suitable partner, but he is making his decision based on their physical appearance and their answer to his question in which usually doesn’t divulge any information about them at all. Either they give some sort of flirty answer (e.g. I’d be a curry because it’s hot and spicy just like me) or they miss the point of the question entirely and just basically tell the man to pick him.

It seems like this is perpetuating the stereotype that men don’t look past a women’s physical appearance when choosing a partner which, believe it or not, is actually untrue.

This won’t stop me watching the show though.

For a slightly more upbeat Valentine’s Day post, read the loveletter I wrote to my kettle last year.

Valentines day kettle love

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I love my new kettle
More than I do you

I was going to write a blog about Valentines day being rubbish but then I realised that the majority of people probably think that way too. Or if they don’t, they probably don’t want me ruining their lovely romantic day by pointing out how silly it all is.

So, instead, I have decided to write about my new love.

We met on Sunday. It was my sister’s birthday and we went out to lunch at the Harvester. My sister is very much like my mother and enjoyed pointing out all the vegetarian options on the menu that I was able to have (All three of them, just in case I’d missed one. It was very helpful).

I had a go on one of those machines you get in the arcades where you try and grab a toy out. For the first time ever, I managed to actually make the grabbing device grab something. It picked up the Wario doll that I had my heart set on, moved it across to the left and then towards me.

I was already celebrating. My family and friends were looking at me with a look that said “you’re 32. Even 8 year old kids don’t get that excited about this.”

Unfortunately Wario is a bit bigger than I had anticipated and is he got to the hatch that he was about to be dropped into, the barrier knocked him out of the grabbing device.

I was distraught. Resolute, I had another go at getting him out but only succeeded in standing him on his head. “No problem”, I thought. “I’ll come back and win him after lunch!” Waiting for the bill, I was very impatient and as soon as it was dealt with, I rushed off to the machine. I was made distraught again to discover that some pikey kid had stolen my Wario toy.

“The only thing to do, “ I thought to myself, “is to go home and have a cup of tea,” because as everyone knows, there is nothing that cannot be fixed by a cup of tea.

I then remembered that my kettle had broken. Fortunately there was a Sainsburys nearby so I stopped off there* and looked at kettles. Within my budget range, there was a black Sainsburys own for £15 or the Presitge 1.7l cordless in sexy white which claimed to light up when boiling for £20.

Anyone who knows me well will know that this was a no brainer for me. Anything that has promises a flashy additional gimmick for a small additional charge will be bought, no questions asked.

Upon getting her home, I noticed not only how well she fits in with her surroundings (see image). She also boils quickly and efficiently, and best of all, when she does, she provides me with her interpretation of the Northern Lights (see below video). She knows how much I want to go see them but also how poor I am and so unlikely to be able to afford to go in some time.

She also makes a damn good cup of tea. I don’t think there’s anything more that I look for in a woman.
So, Presitge 1.7l cordless, will you be my valentine?

* The order of these events has been altered for dramatic effect. I actually bought the kettle before lunch. It was a Sunday and Sainsburys would have been shut by the time we had finished eating. I apologise for any harm caused by this.